So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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