she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
3 2 1 whiskey
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Randomize
