so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
