your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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