her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
third nipple confirmed
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
