you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
