next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
