He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Randomize
