Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
