Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
i think im in europe. pls send help
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
