i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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