When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
