Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
