The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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