New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
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