Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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