You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
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