She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
