ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I'm sobbing to NWA
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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