Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize