how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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