summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
