I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
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