I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
