i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Drunk is not a location!
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
