hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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