i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
this will be a night to untag.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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