i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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