I'm passing your future prison.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
