"it" just moved
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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