We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
