About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I would fuck him just for his dog
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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