I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
