Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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