I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
