she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Randomize