there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
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It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
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Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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