OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
false alarm. still invincible.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
