Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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