would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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