Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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