is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
