i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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