Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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