your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
