you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Randomize
