I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
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