I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
