haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
