i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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