It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
