I think i peed on brittanys purse
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
