I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
