So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
