you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
