I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
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so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
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I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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