I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
