I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
