no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
