I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Randomize
