I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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