party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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