Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
The air taste purple.
Randomize
