She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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