I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Reggie can tackle my bush.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
