He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Just invented taco cereal.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
