If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
