I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
