At least make sure they are 18
Why
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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