Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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