oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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