Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
